The death of a friend, the comfort of a nemesis
by Torok7
Summary: This FanFic was inspired by an episode of P&F.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the idea for this fanfic (Which was inspired by a part of an episode of P&F.) and Polly the Parrot.

The guilt of the platypus.

A turquoise platypus walks the grounds of a cemetery. The sun was shinning down on all the graves and the ground was almost hot against his webbed feet. His beaver tail was dragging on the grass. Luckily his dark brown fedora was keeping his head cool. He looked down with a sad frown on his face, a tear coming down his furry cheek. He looked up only to see he had arrived to where he was supposed to be, chairs lined up in an orderly manner in front of a casket with flowers around it. More tears flowed when he saw the casket, knowing it was there because of him! "Why couldn't that be me in there?" He thought to himself. He approached the chairs and saw other animals in fedoras, different shades of brown on the hats. No two animals were alike either, all different species. The platypus walked down an aisle made by the groups of chairs. He glanced up to see that the other animals were sad as well, some of them were crying, others had their hats off as a sign of respect. As the platypus was walking he saw a small panda with his light brown fedora off, the panda gave him an angry look. The platypus looked away, he knew he deserved every bit of that look he got, he was angry with himself too. He just continued walking, he walked up to the casket. There were some steps in front of it so that if smaller animals wanted to see what was in it, they could. His legs were shaking as he walked up those three steps, he slowly peered into the casket, he saw what looked like a turkey, it had been stripped of feathers, its head was gone, feet were gone. In fact it looked like it would have been prepared to cook. Laying near its neck, where its head would have been, was a tan fedora. A tear from the Platypus fell on the turkey. "... Agent T... Terry... I'm sorry... Terry didn't even die heroically. He at least deserved the death of a hero, but he didn't even get that." He thought. The platypus' hands shook as he grasped his own fedora and removed it to respect his fallen co-worker and friend.

"A-... Agent P?" Asked a slightly high pitched, young sounding male voice from behind him.

He turned around, startled, but relaxed to see that it was only Carl, the unpaid intern. The young man was dressed in an all black suit, even the frames of his glasses were black.

"I-... I'm sorry Perry, but we have to start the service... Please..." He motioned over to the chairs "take your seat."

Perry nodded and went over to an empty seat in the very front and he sat down, tears still in his eyes while folding his fedora tightly in his hands.

Then an older man wearing all army clothes came up to the casket. He faced all the animals.

The animals and Carl saluted him.

"At ease, agents..." Said Major Monogram "You too Carl..." He said, looking at Carl.

They all stopped saluting.

The Major cleared his throat and looked right at all the agents "Death... It happens to all of us... But to have an agent die in such a horrid manner while on duty is a tragedy... And he didn't even die while fighting the man he was set out to stop..."

As his leader spoke, it felt like sharp daggers were stabbing right into Perry's heart. The platypus couldn't look the Major in the eye as he spoke.

"Terrance or Terry or even Agent T as some of you know him as was an astounding agent. One of the best bird agents we've ever had. He fought with honor, bravery and saved many lives..." The Major had to stop speaking for a few seconds to wipe a tear from his eye "There's no replacing that kind of agent. He was one of a kind. But we must not look at his death with sadness, but rather as a chance to pave the way for a new agent to take on his nemesis, and to prove that no matter what evil may throw at us that we can bounce back and throw something harder and heavier at it!" The Major raised a fist in the air to make a bigger statement.

The agents sounded out with their cheers. Perry chattered as his cheer.

The Major lowered his fist and the animals quieted down. "Now would anyone like to say a few words before we give Agent T a proper burial?"

Perry stood and chattered to get Major Monogram's attention.

"Yes, Agent P... You may speak..." Said the Major as he got out of his spot and stepped to the side next to Carl.

Perry walked over to the casket and faced his co-workers.

"Polly, translate for us please." Carl said as he looked towards a parrot with a fedora on.

"Alright Carl." Said the parrot with a squawk and a whistle. She flew off the back of her chair and landed on Perry's shoulder She squawked and whistled a few times to him.

Perry chattered and nodded.

Polly whistled once more.

Perry looked to his co-workers and started chattering.

"Major Monogram, Carl and my fellow agents. I want to express my deepest regrets for what happen to Terry." Polly said as she translated Perry's chattering.

Perry paused for a moment, gathering himself. He then continued with more chattering.

"It was my fault for what happen to him, and it is with a heavy heart that I..." Polly translated, but stopped and looked at Perry, she squawked and whistled a few times to him.

Perry chattered and nodded to her with a serious look in his eyes.

Polly nodded and continued "Resign from the O.W.C.A."

The two humans gasped, the rest of the agents gasped, except for Peter the panda who applauded.

Perry looked at Peter and chattered with anger in his eyes.

"Oh my... I'm not translating that, not even for a cracker..." Said Polly.

Major Monogram rushed over to Perry "Agent P! You can't be serious! Resigning? Why!"

Perry sighed sadly, looking at the ground he chattered a few times.

"I can't work for an organization that I'm a danger to..." Polly translated.

Perry chattered again after a short pause.

"If I can't protect one co-worker, what good am I to this place?" Polly said with a squawk.

"You're leaving to protect your co-workers?" Asked the Major.

Perry looked up at him and nodded. He chattered.

"I'll still fight to protect the Tri-state area and my family..." Said Polly.

Perry sighed and continued chattering.

"I just need time away from this place..." Translated Polly.

Perry's eyes filled with tears as he got out a few more chatters.

"There's just too much pain now..." Polly translated.

Perry held up his fedora to Major Monogram.

"No Agent P! I can't accept your uniform." Said the Major.

Perry started to walk down the aisle, he stopped by a chair and chattered at Polly.

She got off of him and landed on the back of the chair.

Perry continued walking and he didn't look back as he exited the cemetery. He held his fedora in front of him and after a few moments he put it on, a propeller came out of the top of the hat and spun, Perry hung onto his fedora and it lifted him into the air. He took one last look at the O.W.C.A building before flying away.

The comfort of a nemesis.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the idea for this fanfic (Which was inspired by a part of an episode of P&F.) and Polly the Parrot.

The comfort of a nemesis.

Perry flew above the clouds to make sure no one could see him, the fluffy white clouds and the bright blue sky and slightly cool air had a calming effect on his tormented soul. He couldn't go home to his owners yet, he had to get help to deal with his depression, and he knew exactly the right doctor to set up an appointment with, and it wasn't Dr. Feelbetter, he specialized more in relationship issues than anything else. Perry flew lower and saw the large purple skyscraper he was looking for. He flew through the open window and lands in the room. The propeller went back into his fedora and Perry let go of his hat. Perry took no more than a step forward before a rope caught his ankle and pulled him into the air. He hung upside down, his fedora fell off his head. "Great... The one day I didn't go to fight him..." Perry thinks to himself as he limply hung there. He reached for his fedora, but he couldn't grab it. Suddenly someone came into the room. "Ah, Per-... Wait, you're not Perry the platypus..." Said a really high pitched male voice with a German accent. A light was turned on and a man in a lab coat walked over to Perry. He saw the fedora on the floor "Wait, but if you're not Perry then why is his hat right under where you're hang-... Oh you ARE Perry the platypus!" Said Heinz.

Perry facepalmed.

"Well, I'm glad I caught you, but I really don't have anything evil planned for today... Could you maybe come back tomorrow Perry the platypus?" Asked Heinz.

Perry chattered and shook his head.

"What do you mean no! Are you gonna beat me up for no reason? I mean jeez, I never knew you were a bully!" Heinz said as he crossed his arms and looked away from him.

Perry chattered to get his attention.

The man looked at him "What so you're at name calling now!"

Perry made a peace sign with his fingers.

"You're a hippie?" Heinz asked.

Perry chattered at him with frustration and shook his head.

"Oh! I see! You want peace right?" Said Heinz.

Perry smiled and nodded. He pointed to the rope around his ankle.

"Oh, right." Heinz loosened the rope around the platypus' ankle.

Perry did a backflip in the air as he fell and landed on his feet. He picked up his fedora and put it on.

"So, why are you here?" Heinz asked.

Perry walked past him and took a paper and pen off a desk, he started writing.

Heinz came over and peered over his shoulder.

Perry soon finished writing and gave the paper to him.

The scientist started to read it. "What, you left Francis because you killed one of his agents? You finally did something evil!" Said Heinz as he scooped up Perry in his arms and hugged him. "I knew I'd finally change you! You've come to join me haven't you?" He squeezed the platypus affectionately.

"... Can't... breathe..." Perry thought as he broke free from Heinz' embrace. He looked up at him and shook his head firmly.

"No, you didn't come to join me, then what have you come here for?" Heinz asked.

Perry pointed at the paper.

Heinz gave him the paper back and watched as he wrote.

Perry was crying as he wrote, to recall what happen was almost as painful as him reliving the moment again.

"Perry...? Are you alright?" Asked Heinz as he saw the platypus' tears.

Perry shook his head, he finished writing and handed him the paper, he turned away and cried into his hands.

Heinz read the paper, it was a little hard because of some tear stains, but it was still readable. "What? You let the turkey die by the hands of a butcher and you couldn't do anything about it! What about when you did something when I made inators, huh? Did you just stand by and watch as I do evil with them!... You should have at least kicked this guys' butt..." Heinz said.

Perry sobbed now.

Heinz calmed down and dropped the paper, he picked Perry up and hugged him.

Perry didn't fight it this time, he hugged the mans' neck and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Hey hey! My lab coat is not a tissue!" Heinz said as he held Perry with one arm and went out of the room into his living room, he grabbed a tissue and gave it to Perry.

Perry wiped his eyes with it.

"I-... I'm sorry I snapped at you before Perry. It's just that you're always fighting me to keep the Tri-state area safe and... I'm just shocked that you didn't fight a simple butcher to save your friend..." Heinz said as he held Perry in front of him with both hands under the platypus' arms.

Perry's furry cheeks were wet with tears and they were still coming out of his eyes.

"Why didn't you fight the butcher?... Was he too dangerous? strong?... Is he someone I should invite to the next L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N meeting?" Heinz said.

Perry shook his head.

Heinz sat down on his sofa and sat Perry on his lap. He took a paper and pen from the coffee table and gave it to Perry "Tell me why you didn't fight him." Heinz said.

Perry began to write. He finished after a minute.

Heinz read the paper "Just because you didn't want him to know of your identity?"

Perry nodded sadly.

Heinz opened his mouth to speak, but then stopped himself. He could tell Perry was upset. "We all make mistakes. We shouldn't dwell on them."

Perry nodded.

"This would be a better job for Dr. Feelbetter, remember how he helped us deal with our relationship problems?" Heinz asked.

Perry nodded, remembering that time, and the fact that Heinz replaced him with Peter the panda. Oh how he disliked Peter. He never really got along with Peter, even before he stole Heinz from him. Perry took the paper from Heinz and wrote something down. He gave it back to him.

"You don't want to go to Feelbetter but... You want to stay with me...?" Heinz asked, looking at Perry.

Perry nodded, smiling slightly.

Heinz smiled too "Well... I don't really know what I can do to help, but I'll try."

"That's all I wanted to hear, Doofy..." Perry thought.

"You know what I do when I'm upset?" Heinz asked.

Perry chattered and shook his head.

"I eat a whole bunch of ice cream... It's comfort food, ya know? Especially in the summer when it's really hot and since I can't cool down in a pool ice cream is my best choice." Heinz said. He looked over towards his kitchen "NORM!" He called out.

The high pitched yell startled Perry, but he calmed down quickly.

The robot came out of the kitchen wearing an apron "Yes dad?" He then saw Perry "Dad there's that platypus sitting on your lap... I'll dispose of him..." He said as he aimed his arm at Perry, a small cannon came out of his hand.

Heinz hugged Perry close to him "NO! NO! Don't you dare!... You don't hurt him! He's our guest..."

Norm lowered his arm and the cannon turned into his hand again "Yes dad."

"That and you might have missed and hit something else..." Heinz said.

"Sorry dad... Would Perry like a muffin that I made as an apology?" Norm asked.

"Not right now. Go get us ice cream." Heinz commanded.

"You know dad there are better ways of dealing with your problems than eating ice cream... Ever tried talking about your feelings?" Norm suggested.

"Ah, that talking stuff never really works! Just get us ice cream." Heinz said.

Norm went into the kitchen and soon returned with four buckets of ice cream, he put them down on the table, he put two spoons on the table as well.

"That will be all Norm. Thank you." Heinz said.

Norm went back into the kitchen.

Heinz set Perry down next to him on the couch, he looked at the ice cream "Ok, we've got chocolate, strawberry, vanilla and mint. Which flavor do you want?"

Perry chattered and pointed at the chocolate.

Heinz opened the bucket of ice cream and set it down near Perry.

Perry held it with both hands and took the spoon when Heinz handed it to him.

Heinz grabbed the mint ice cream and a spoon, he opened the bucket and ate a spoonful of ice cream. "You'll see, all your problems will disappear when you eat ice cream... Well they won't really go away, but you'll forget about them for a few."

Perry ate the ice cream, he did have to admit that it made him feel better, that and being with his frienemy. 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the idea for this fanfic (Which was inspired by a part of an episode of P&F.) Polly the Parrot and the german shepherd guard dog.

The comfort of an unusual frienemy.

Perry set the ice cream and the spoon down, he had barely finished a quarter of it.

Heinz was still eating away at his mint ice cream.

Perry grabbed the pen and paper and started writing, he soon finished and chattered to get Heinz' attention. He held the paper up to him.

Heinz looked at it "You want to go put flowers on the turkey's grave?"

Perry nodded.

"Ok." Heinz put the ice cream and the spoon down "But we're not going to the store to buy any when I could just use my..." He dug in his back pocket and pulled out a ray gun "My flower-inator! I built this for when I go on dates so I don't have to buy flowers from a store, saves time and money. I can turn immobile objects into flowers! Like that pen for example. Perry hold that pen if you don't mind." Heinz said.

Perry held the pen up.

Heinz aimed and fired.

Perry's fedora was shot and it turned into a crown of flowers.

Heinz put his hand to his mouth, but snickers were heard.

Perry took off the crown and looked at it. He chattered at Heinz.

"Oh, but you do have to admit you looked cute in it..." Heinz said, removing his hand from his mouth.

Perry put the crown back on and pointed at it, chattering.

"Oh, fine." Heinz said and zapped the crown, it turned back into a fedora. He zapped the pen next and it turned into flowers. "There? Happy now?" Heinz asked.

Perry nodded.

"Ok, let's go." Heinz got up and walked to his front door "Norm I'm going to the cemetery with Perry the platypus. Clean up all the ice cream."

"Alright dad!" Norm called out, still in the kitchen

"And I'm not your dad!" Heinz said, he opened the door and walked out.

Perry followed him.

Heinz shut the door and walked to an elevator, he pressed the button to open the doors and stepped inside.

Perry walked inside with him.

Heinz pushed the button to get to the bottom floor and the doors shut and the elevator started to go down. Elevator music was playing. Heinz looked down at Perry "You know they make elevator music so boring... It's like they want us to be entertained on the ride, but not too entertained, you know what I mean?"

Perry didn't answer.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened up. Heinz and Perry stepped out of the elevator and walked outside into a parking lot. Heinz took out his keys and unlocked his car. It was a mini van. He climbed into the driver's seat, buckled up and shut the door. Perry got into the passenger's seat and did the same. Heinz started the car and drove off the parking lot. He drove down the street.

Perry turned on the radio.

"Now, a song from Love Handle called 'You could have saved me, but you were too scared because you're a secret agent.'." Said the radio.

Perry quickly shut off the radio.

"Wow, talk about a specific and coincidental song title, huh?" Heinz asked.

Perry nodded sadly.

Heinz kept driving without saying a word, he suddenly tapped Perry on the shoulder with his fist "Blue punch buggy, don't punch back Perry the platypus." He said.

Perry punched him in the arm just enough to hurt him a little, he clearly wasn't in the mood.

"Ow!... Hey, what part of not punching back was not understood!... Really it is in the saying Perry..." Heinz said while continuing to drive.

Soon they both saw the big O.W.C.A sign and the building as well. Heinz parked his car in a parking space. He and Perry both got out of the car. Perry lead the way to a fenced in area, that's where the cemetery was. The entrance was guarded by a large german shepherd in a fedora.

Perry chattered at Heinz then put a hand up as a signal to wait.

"Ok, I'll stay here... Although I can probably talk to that guy too, I mean he is a german shepherd and I do speak German." Heinz said.

Perry walked over to the big dog, he saluted him.

The dog saluted back with his right paw. He put his paw down and looked at Heinz with an almost angry look. He then looked down at Perry and barked a few times.

Perry pointed at Heinz and chattered a few times, then he pointed to himself and chattered.

The dog barked more.

Perry showed him the flowers, pointed at the cemetery and chattered.

The dog barked once more, he turned around and opened the gate. He stepped aside.

Perry saluted him. He looked back at Heinz and gestured for him to come. Perry walked into the cemetery.

Heinz followed, but stopped by the dog, he looked down at him "So what do they call you? Agent D or what about Agent GS? Oh now that would sound cool..."

The dog began growling at him. Perry grabbed Heinz by the lab coat and pulled him into the cemetery. Heinz followed Perry. He looked around at all the graves.

"Gee, the OWCA aren't very good at keeping their agents alive for very long huh?" Heinz asked.

Perry just ignored him, although he kinda agreed, the OWCA agents die quickly.

Heinz suddenly ran towards a grave and stooped down to look at the tomb stone "Agent M... Oh and look there's a picture of a mouse on it as well... Hmm, I wonder what killed him?" He stood up and saw Perry beside him "Do other agents eat each other?" Heinz asked.

Perry slowly nodded.

"Well, maybe agent F killed agent M... You get it Perry the platypus? F for feline, as in cat?" Heinz said.

Perry grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him away. He didn't want to wait around.

Heinz walked with the platypus "You know, you really should be more patient Perry... I was just trying to make conversation..."

Perry suddenly stopped.

Heinz looked in shock to see someone kneeling down in front of a grave crying. It was another man in a lab coat. "Rodney!" Heinz said, clenching a fist. He walked over to the man. Perry, still holding onto Heinz, followed him.

"Rodney! What are you doing here!" Heinz asked.

Rodney looked up at Heinz with tears in his eyes, he wiped them and stood up, sniffling a little "Oh... Hello Heinz..." He looked down at Perry "Heinz' nemesis..." He greeted Perry.

Perry chattered at him.

Heinz looked down at Perry "Don't talk to him, Perry... He's probably crying tears of joy!"

"I'm not!... Terrance the turkey wa-... Was my nemesis..." Rodney said in a sad voice, he looked at the ground.

"Ah, so you were the butcher!" Heinz said and pointed a finger at Rodney.

"No!" Rodney said as he slapped Heinz' hand away "That butcher will rue the day he ever laid a hand on Terrance!" He clenched his fists in anger.

"You-... You care about your nemesis?" Heinz asked in a much less angry tone.

"Yes, I did." Rodney said, also calming down.

"Just like I care for Perry..." Heinz said, looking down to see that Perry wasn't beside him, he then saw Perry at Terry's grave. Perry had his fedora off and he put the flowers in front of the tomb stone. He chattered something.

"What was that Perry?" Heinz asked.

Perry pointed to the R.I.P on the tomb stone.

"Rip? You want to rip the turkey?" Heinz asked.

"R.I.P is an acranim for Rest In Peace." Rodney replied.

"Oh, I knew that... I was just testing you..." Heinz said, crossing his arms.

Rodney ignores Heinz and crouches down to the grave "Rest in peace indeed, little buddy..." He puts his hand on the tomb stone and starts weeping again.

Heinz put his hand on Rodney's shoulder "It's ok, Rod... He's in a better place now..."

"No he's not!... He's dead in the ground..." Rodney said, still crying.

"Well, if you look at it that way of course you're going to be sad." Heinz said.

"Well, it doesn't matter now... My sadness won't bring Terrance the turkey back..." Said Rodney, standing up. "If you'll excuse me I'm going to go invent something to get revenge on the butcher... And there'll be no one to stop me... There'll be no one to stop me!" Tears come into Rodney's eyes. He pulled a remote out of his pocket and pressed a button. Suddenly a small helicopter landed near Rodney. "Goodbye Heinz, Perry the platypus..." He said as he got into the helicopter and flew away.

"He-... He has a helicopter?... He always has to show me up, doesn't he?" Heinz asked Perry.

Perry started to walk away towards the exit.

Heinz followed.

They walked past the dog and to Heinz' van.

"So, you want to come back to my apartment? We can watch soap operas and eat ice cream." Said Heinz.

Perry shook his head. He tipped his hat to Heinz, the propeller then came out of his fedora. Perry held onto the fedora. The propeller started spinning and Perry was lifted into the air and he flew away.

Heinz waved to Perry as he was watching the platypus fly away.


End file.
